New Blog

I needed to start a new blog - to many sad memories, things on this blog.  It was what was happening in my life and all true but I just can't stay here.  Needed a fresh start!

So - my new blog:

http://projectorange1.blogspot.com/

Come over and visit!  Follow me!

love,
Jess

Raining

Our house was auctioned yesterday.  It was a sad day for Paul and I.  It made everything really final for us.  It was a day of mourning.  When you picture your life - foreclosure and job loss is not part of the picture.

BACK STORY:
Paul is a teacher in California and last year due to budget cuts, Paul was laid off.  This has happened for the last 3 years but Paul has always been re-hired in the Fall.  I don't know if you know this  but the US (and CA) economy isn't doing too well right now.  It's been on the news a little bit.  The wise people of the CA State government have decided the best way to fix CA is to lay-off teachers and have major budget cuts to the education system.  So here we are a year later and Paul has been without steady employment.  He has been substitute teaching but with so many laid off teachers, work has been, let's just say, not consistent.  He even tried his hand at selling used cars!  ROUGH is the word I would use to describe this last year and yesterday was the icing on the cake.  

It was strange for us that yesterday was so cold and raining - it felt like God was crying with us. It was oddly comforting. When I woke up this morning the sun was shining bright in my window. I felt an in break of hope and that we were going to get through this and that God was going to be with us walking us through everyday.  I'm sure my emotions will change a hundred times over the next couple weeks as we pack and move.  But I know that we can do this - we will survive - we will be victorious!

On the hunt...

We are on the hunt for a new place to live.  One of the heart breaking side effects of Paul being out of work for 10 months now.  So far we haven't had much luck and time is running out.  If you pray, please pray for us.

And Here Comes #3!

We are having another baby.  I am 8 weeks preggers right now and just feel SICK.  All the time.  I am also very tired.

My iron is really low and even with extra iron supplements on top of my pre natal vitamins, it is not coming up to the normal range.  Although (this crosses into TMI so go ahead and skip the next sentence if you would like) I am pooping green iron boulders.  So, that has been super fun too.

I think I have my kids too far apart because I really forget about all this pregnancy stuff.  I waited 5 years between the first two.  And Luke and this baby are 4 years apart.  It all seems so shocking to me and I am convinced that I didn't have any of these issues with my other pregnancies.
Since my iron levels are not coming up and I am a vegetarian my PA wants me to try and eat some meat everyday.  Today will be day one.  It's been almost 2 years!  I am going to have a piece of chicken with my lunch.  I really don't want to eat red meat.  I did buy some organic grass feed beef just incase I need to.

Lately, I have been surprising myself with just how granola I have become.  Some of the changes:  no high fructose corn syrup in our house, mostly organic foods, vegetarian (although Paul and the kids still eat meat - but mostly free range organic), and here is the biggest shocker of them all - we may HOMESCHOOL Alanna next year.  That's another post, but we are seriously looking at that as an option.  Who would have thought?  Soon the Evelands will be churning their own butter and weaving cloth!

Something New

There is something new on my blog...

Let's see if you can find it.

What's Your Color

Fun little quiz to pass the time on this lovely Friday morning.  What's Your Color? My results:

RED You boast incredible willpower and are  capable of overcoming obstacles that would normally leave others shaking in their boots. You have a penchant for colorful environments and often impress others with your energetic bursts of energy. Your interests in many areas of life often leave you scattered,  but when you focus you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

Yep, that's about right.  Especially the "your interests in many areas of life often leave you scattered, but when you focus you can accomplish anything you put your mind to"  That is really me!

Book Suggestions

Today I ordered this book:

from Amazon.com.  You see, I have a non-existant yard but would like to grow some veggies in containers and see how it goes but no clue how to start.  My hope is this book will get me started down the right path.

But, I funny thing happened.  Amazon made a suggestion to me - this book:

Just incase you can't read it "Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children".  If you are interested in purchasing it, it only costs $135.00 (I'm not kidding!)
Hmmmm....

What a Year!

Fun Facebook app of my year in pictures.  It was a year full of heart ache but also a LOT of fun!  Starting in the upper left hand corner

1. Rachelle Kirkindoll and I at the New Kids on the Block concert.  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
2. Girls Night Christmas party - dancing the night away
3. Family hike with The Plant
4. Paul and I at Pismo Beach for a Marriage Retreat
5. Paul and I's New Year's kiss, ringing in 2010
6. Getting crafty and making a new purse
7. Anna is such an amazing friend!  So blessed to have her in my life
8. 10 Year Coffee Talk Reunion at Pismo Beach.  All my best friends from college.  Amazing group of women!
9. Paul and friend Jeremiah showing off their muscles at Pismo
10. Holly Graham celebrating Vanessa's 30th birthday!
11. Alanna and I at Sophia's 3rd birthday.  She is too cute!!
12. Bella!  We got a dog this year
13. Vanessa's 30th Birthday!
14. Wine tasting with my mom for a girls weekend in Sonoma
15. My kiddos, Luke and Alanna.  They are cuddle bugs
16. Mom and I at the Vineyard. 

Style School

I am getting ready to embark on a new 6 week adventure (drum roll please)  Style School.  This is something I really wanted to do but thought I was going to miss out and then they open a few more spots and I got in (well, paid my $60) side note - so glad I didn't blow my Christmas money!

I am so excited to do this!  I need inspiration to try new things and get the creative juices flowing again!!

  A few of the lovely things we'll be making.

What I'm Reading

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

I have never read this classic novel and it is used and referred to time and time again in Twilight other great books and movies, I figured I should probably know what they are talking about.

Don't I look a little snooty holding this book?  Why? Because it's a CLASSIC and that means I am extra smart and refined!

New Year, A New You

Do you believe in Resolutions?  I don't really.  Someone told me for 2010 they wanted "Revelations not Resolutions".  I kind of liked the thought of that.  It doesn't even have to apply to your faith in God.  I think we all could use some greater Revelation in our lives aside from our knowledge of our Higher Power.  So, in honor of that thought (Revelations, not Resolutions)  I have made my list of New Year Revelations I am asking for and seeking in 2010:

• Revelation to see myself the way my husband sees me
• all he sees is beautiful and all I see are faults
• Revelation to know my purpose 
• huge and I think this is a life long process and journey but one I want to honestly examine and begin to work towards something not just live
• Revelation to stop living in fear of man - fear of judgement
• fear of man keeps me from doing so many things I want to do like art and to live creatively
•  Revelation of a deeper love for people
• Paul and I have a joke about me not being very tolerant with other people's stupidity and poor life choices.  I don't want it to be a characteristic I am known for.  It makes me sad that people say, "I use to think you were so mean then I got to know you and you're really very nice"  I would much rather people just say the very nice part.  BUT I do not want to loose my sense of justice, standards or morality.  How does this balance and how do I still stay true to who I am? (HINT: REVELATION!)
• Revelation of my many blessings
• I am incredibly blessed and I do not want to loose sight of all the good in my life even in the face of adversity and want

And just for the heck of it... here are a few Resolutions to break:

• Send pictures of my kids to my Grandma once a month.  She lives in New York and will not touch a computer and is always asking for pictures of my kids and I am REALLY bad about sending them to her.
• Clean-out the old - clean out closets, garage, old Rubbermaid Totes with God knows what in them
• Start taking pictures again - photography miss it
• Start college again, change major to Business Marketing and minor in Graphic Design.  (It's taken me 3 years to decide on a major)
• And because I am an American - loose weight!

Rain in Autumn

This Sunday, I was encouraged and inspired to dream again and reach out for hope.  I am desperate for an in-breaking of light in the midst of the darkness that Paul and I have been stumbling through.

Thank you Lord for knowing me.  Thank you Lord for seeing my tears.  Thank you Lord for loving me.  Thank you Lord for saving me.  Thank you Lord for pouring down your healing rain to soften my dry heart.

(click on picture for link to podcast)

Thank You

Thank you to all veterans who have fought and served this country for my freedom.

New Obsession

I have a new love!  A website that I visit regularly to look but not buy... (Lord, please bring a job to Paul!!!!!!)

ModCloth.  It is like Anthropology light - light as in not as expensive.  Whimsy, unique and pretty are words that come to mind.  Also fun home accessories.

Poor Luke

Luke has terrible teeth.  They are very week and he gets tons of cavities.  I mean tons!  Please don't judge me too harshly and you can with hold you're a bad mom comments for another blog.

Are you ready... he has 13 cavities and he is 3 years old.  Some of them are very tiny and don't need to be drilled, two are going to need root canals or be pulled.  We went in for his regular cleaning and walked out with 13 cavities!

Obvious question: Do you brush his teeth?  YES!  Every morning and every night.  (FYI - his sister only had 1 cavity this last appointment).

So bad our dentist sent us to a specialist.  The bad mom who doesn't take care of your kids specialist.  It's like you walk in and everyone behind the desk gives you that look.  "Here comes another another crappy mom that gives her kid coke in his sippy cup and a snickers bar at bed time.  Get the silver tooth caps ready."  I love being this mom.   I'm sure my name is already flagged for a CPS call because we are not getting the H1N1 shots (that's a whole other post!). 

They are going to have to sedate Luke to take care of these 13 cavities.  But they can do everything at one time.  I am flabbergasted (yes, flabbergasted, I said it) as to how he could have so many cavities in such a short time between his cleanings.  This is just plain crazy!

How About Orange

Not only is orange my favorite color - it is now my favorite blog.
How About Orange
Is the perfect mix of crafts, art, photography, decorating...

If you like these things it's a great one stop shop.

LOVE!

One More Thing

I want to completely redecorate my house. I am over the leather couches, starbucks moody paint, and black accents. I am so inspired by everything I see vintage. I want old glass bottles, suitcases, ornament picture frames, worn distressed furniture, an old globe. I want to go to garage sales and find things and hunt around in thrift stores.

 

  

 

What To Do?

Paul is a laid off teacher.  One of the 1000 or so in Kern County, CA that were laid off due to state budget cuts.  I  know that we are not alone in this time and many people in many different industries have found themselves with out a job.  Thankfully, a friend helped to get Paul a job at a used car lot.  Don't get me wrong, we are thankful for the opportunity but just a couple of issues:

1. Commission Only - with the state of our current economy the auto industry is not exactly booming.
2. Paul was made to teach - This is his destiny and purpose.  No question of what his calling is or what he is suppose it do (only a question of why isn't it happening! That's a whole other set of questions, rants and tears).
3. Then all the other issues that may seem trite but are issues none the less - super long hours, working every weekend, no insurance, holidays or vacations.

All that to say... Paul has not been hired at another teaching position and I don't know what to do.  I work at our church as the Admin to our Sr. Pastor (translation, I don't make a lot of money).  At times this has been the best and worst job I have ever had.  I have never doubted myself more or have been hurt more by a job.  I have also have intense times of love and support.  I have been told this is part of ministry - I'm not so sure about all of that (once again, working in ministry is another whole set of questions, rants and tears).

I work with some of the best people that I love dearly.  I think that maybe part of this issue - my heart and emotions are so involved.  I wonder if I am at the point of exhaustion.  Too many downs and too many ups.  To complicate matters, the last 4 years I have worked for the church, have been some of roughest I have ever been through; my marriage and all aspects of my personal life have been turned upside down more times than I can count.

At what point do I throw-in the towel?  I have a the ability to make a lot more money that could change our financial situation drastically (I hope that doesn't sound egotistical).  Is now the time to leave?  Is it time to move on?  Is money the best reason to go?  Am I not trusting God to provide for us a job for Paul?  Is God leading me to something new?  Do we stay in Bakersfield?  Do I look for a job outside of Bakersfield?  Do we move the whole family for my job and hope there is a teaching job?  Do we stay put and wait?  I would love an answer to just one of these questions.

Love of Reading

I have recently re-discovered my love for reading. I am desperate for some book suggestions. I do not like romance novels or horror/really scary books.

Any suggestions?

Kid Life List

Paul and I took a much needed family day yesterday and went to the beach. It was a wonderful relaxing day full of laughter. Luke was very concerned and didn't want me to go into the water alone because I don't "have muscles". He made Paul hold my hand anytime I went into the water. It was wonderful watching our children play in the sand and water holding hands with my husband. Luke is very protective of me and always wants to make sure that I am safe. It's funny even at 3 years old I can see the type of man he is going to be.

Alanna is so adventurous! No stopping that girl. She was out in the waves, running all over the beach and wanting to explore and touch everything. She would get so excited to find seaweed and would bring it up to the shore and pull it apart. Most people (especially 8 year old girls) hate it when seaweed touches them. She is so full of life. I cannot wait to see where life is going to take her!

All that to say, as we were at the beach yesterday Paul and I were talking about all the things we want to do with the kids. Some will be easier to do than others... I know I need to write this down or it will be gone forever.

1. Go to a fish hatchery - I went as a kid and thought it was the coolest thing ever!
   
2. Go to Colonial Williamsburg
3. Go to Washington, DC
4. Take Alanna to a Broadway musical
5. Take the kids to Corfu, NY to see their family history
6. Go to Sea World
7. Go to Hawaii and go snorkeling
   
8. Go to Alaska
9. Go to San Diego Zoo
10. Go to the Grand Canyon
11. Take the kids snowboarding
12. Go to an NFL game - preferably the Rams in a winning season (that was Paul)
13. Go to a Dodgers game
14. Go to Discovery Center in Santa Ana
15. Learn to sail
16. Plant and care for a garden
17. Go to Monterey Aquarium
18. Go to Kern County Museum
    
19. ????????