Thanksgiving Report

We had dinner with Paul's parents Tom and Judy, his younger brother Daniel and wife Jen, their little girl Aiden and great-grandma Betty. It was kind of a rough day for us. Family drama and Paul and I had to sit at the kids table. Yes, I spent my Thanksgiving at the folding card table. Don't bump it - it will fall over, kids table. Yes, I was insulted and yes, my feelings were hurt. I was reminded during the dinner that I didn't love my kids enough and they would probably be molested and kidnapped.

We decided to leave shortly after dinner to drive to San Clemente. Paul was very anxious to meet his birth father, Joe and brothers Chris and Nick. The drive went quickly and was uneventful. The kids slept most of the way and Paul and I were nervous and chatted the entire time about our expectations, fears, hopes and worries.

Joe and his wife Gerry live in a beautiful neighborhood in a beautiful home. It is big and welcoming. Our time with them was amazing. Every one shared lots of stories of growing up, family history. Sometimes I just sat and stared in amazement that all this was really happening. Paul's family is a very close-knit Italian family. Aunts, Uncles and cousins get together on a regular basis and spend lots of time together. We had a big family dinner on Saturday with Grandma's homemade sauce and meatballs, pasta, ravioli, bread, salads, homemade biscotti, chocolate fountain, cakes and more!

Luke was instantly attached to Papa Joe and has talked about him non-stop since we have been home. It was a wonderful trip. We couldn't have asked for things to go better. Everyone was amazing!

Playing at Laguna Beach

Me, Paul's step-mom Gerry and Paul

Uncle Nick, Luke and Alanna watching cartoons

Luke playing cars with Uncle Chris (Paul's brother)

Uncle Dave (Joe's brother) and Aunt Shannon hosted the get together

Chris and Aunt Sue (Joe's sister)
us and Papa Joe

Joe and his boys -Nick (19), Chris (22) and Paul (33)

Adoption Update (Thanks Jo!)

Paul and I have been slowly trudging through the process of adoption through the Kern County Department of Human Services. We are in wait mode. We are waiting to be assigned a social worker and do our home study. Here's the really discouraging part - the average wait in Kern County for your home study is (drum roll please...) 18 - 24 months. That's right, one and a half to two years!!!

We have decided for our family a little brother for Luke would be the best fit (We don't want to de-thrown the princess!). We have also decided to name our baby Tyler Robert Eveland. It's more real to me that we've given him a name. The process of adoption is SOOO different than birthing a baby. I keep thinking when is this going to happen, when am I getting the call that Tyler is here? I don't have a due date to plan for, we are just waiting in anticipation. And now to hear that the wait could be twice as long as we were originally told - it's discouraging and at times heart breaking.

If you pray - please pray for us and our son Tyler. Pray for break-through in the system for us, for favor and that our name will supernaturally jump to the top of the list.

Adoption 4

Everything has come to a grinding stop in our adoption process. We have to take parenting classes that are only offered once a month. For the last 3 months the classes did not work with our work/kids schedules. In Kern County if you miss one class you have to start them all over and they are only offered once a month. Usually on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Our major hang-up is Paul runs the children's program at our church on Wednesday nights. So far, we haven't found anyone willing to take over the entire program for a month. Kern County DHS (dept of human services) is exploring the possibility to offer the classes on Friday, Saturday and Sunday in March. We are praying this is approved and then we can move forward.

There has been other developments in our personal lives that has also caused us to pause. I don't want to share to many of the sorted details to protect the privacy of my family. There is a chance that we will have twin 4 year olds come and live with us for an extended amount of time. That would be a HUGE addition to our family and we would quickly turn into a family of 6 (4 kids and 2 adults). Because the situation for the twins is so sensitive and in limbo - Paul and I, with much prayer and counsel, have offered our home to them. I'm so thankful that we have a four bedroom house!

Right now, we are really seeking God's direction for our family.

Adoption 3

AHHHH!!! Last night was our adoption orientation meeting. Needless to say Paul and were more confused after the meeting then we were before. The guy leading the meeting used a lot of social worker, industry terms. "FFA" "Dispos" ".26" etc. At the end of the meeting, I asked, "what is the very first thing we need to start a placement in our home." The instructor then took 15 minutes to tell us everything we shouldn't do but never told us what to do. We were confused!

To make matters worse, there was a young man there with lots of issues one of which was the inability to bathe regularly. We'll call him Ted. He told us that he was mentally disabled and ADHD. Ted also raps about the perils of drug use and want to sue CPS for stuff that happened to him when he was a kid. He interrupted the meeting all night long and made everything a lot more difficult.

Thankfully after the meeting a really nice man, we'll call him Frank, helped us with some basic info. Frank and his domestic partner were very helpful and pointed us in the right direction to get started. They have been through this before and were there to do another adoption. They gave us a number to call so our home can be licensed. I guess we can't have a child placed in our home until we are licensed by the county. (FYI - I did not get that information from the meeting). Thank you Lord for Frank and his domestic partner.

We also got a super encouraging email from a childhood friend of Paul. He and his wife are in the middle of an adoption through the county and have had a wonderful experience. I really needed to read it after last night. It sounded pretty hopeless after our meeting.

Adoption 2

Update... We have a meeting with the Department of Human Services on Wednesday. Hopefully we will be assigned a social worker and things can get started. We are really excited to start but it's going to be a hurry-up and wait type of thing. We'll just keep praying for God's timing.

Americans

We have been talking with our 6 year old Alanna a lot about adoption and about bringing another baby into the family. I really want her to feel a part of this process and not that this process was put onto her. (Does that make sense?) So we've been telling her that the new baby might look different then us, different color skin, hair, etc.

Her only requirement was this:

"Just as long as they are American. Because America is the land of the free and I want freedom."

Hmmm...I'm going to visit her school on Monday.

"...And I proudly stand-up next to you and defend her still today, there ain't no doubt I love this land, God Bless the USA"

Adoption

Paul and I have decided to adopt a child. We don't feel like the Eveland family is yet complete but, we do not want to birth any more babies (after two complicated pregnancies & one near death delivery. That makes it sound like we already have 3 kids. Let me clarify, we have 2 kids. Both pregnancies were very hard & involved bed rest and the first pregnancy almost resulted in my death).

ANYWAY... We are going to adopt. We have our first adoption meeting on Sept. 26th. Like so many people/friends in this world of blogging, I will begin our adoption story. After much prayer we have decided to adopt from the foster care system here in Kern County (home of Bakersfield, CA). We will adopt a baby boy, younger than our son Luke - who is 15 months old at this time. We are praying for our son and his birth mother now. We don't know who they are but we are preparing a place for him in our hearts and lives.